The Storm Has Broken
The storm has broken
and words spew like raindrops
that pelt windows and clothing alike.
Hurtful utterings puddle at my feet
only to pull me down in the sodden
gutter of filth.
A deep, wet coldness seeps
into my bones and hardens
my heart as mindless obscenities
continue to be hurled at my head.
The puddles will eventually shrink
and dry and sun will shine again.
But, some storms leave such a deep
imprint that life will never be the same
again.
and words spew like raindrops
that pelt windows and clothing alike.
Hurtful utterings puddle at my feet
only to pull me down in the sodden
gutter of filth.
A deep, wet coldness seeps
into my bones and hardens
my heart as mindless obscenities
continue to be hurled at my head.
The puddles will eventually shrink
and dry and sun will shine again.
But, some storms leave such a deep
imprint that life will never be the same
again.
posted by Vickie at 6:14 PM
1 Comments:
I would suggest the following changes:
The storm has broken.
Words spew like raindrops
pelting windows and clothing alike.
Hurtful utterings puddle at my feet
only to pull me down in the sodden
gutter of filth.
The second stanza is perfectly written and laid down.
In the third:
The puddles will eventually
decrease and dry and sun will
shine. But, some storms leave
such a deep imprint: life is never the same.
Yes. Much more effective like that.
“But that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.” ~ Dennis Miller.
~ James
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