Daydreams
I stare out my window,
transport myself elsewhere.
My mind transcends miles
while my body remains still
and mimicks work.
Scentless blossoms
fill the forest
as long grasses dance
in slow-motion breezes.
My allergies are at rest.
Music is piped through
branches full of nature’s
harmony. Melodies form
when bees buzz in time
to the creek’s ripple.
As I wander, aimless,
the wind and sun
play peek-a-boo in my hair
as they take turns
kissing my neck.
The world ceases
to exist. There is only
blue, green and me.
Time passes slowly,
almost unnoticeably.
Idyllic peace
settles upon me
until the insistent
jangle of the phone
brings me back.
transport myself elsewhere.
My mind transcends miles
while my body remains still
and mimicks work.
Scentless blossoms
fill the forest
as long grasses dance
in slow-motion breezes.
My allergies are at rest.
Music is piped through
branches full of nature’s
harmony. Melodies form
when bees buzz in time
to the creek’s ripple.
As I wander, aimless,
the wind and sun
play peek-a-boo in my hair
as they take turns
kissing my neck.
The world ceases
to exist. There is only
blue, green and me.
Time passes slowly,
almost unnoticeably.
Idyllic peace
settles upon me
until the insistent
jangle of the phone
brings me back.
posted by Vickie at 7:16 PM
12 Comments:
I'm tagging you with a meme V, the newest fun thing in blogging! Answer these 3 questions and then tag 5 people to do the same!
lol SheWeevil got me!
Total Number of Videos/DVDs owned:
Last film I bought:
The last film I watched:
I'm gonna answer you here, but the chances that'll I'll tag someone are slim. Too many videos/dvds to count. I'll estimate 50. Last file I bought..Best Laid Plans...I thought it was based on the Sidney Sheldon book, it wasn't. The last film I watched...National Treasure.
lmao arent you a smart cookie! I should have done it this way too! I dislike memes like email forwards!
S2 & 4 are a bit over modified. and the allergy thing is a little out of left field. Otherwise, extremely effective. By the end, I forgot it was a daydream and was mentally startled by the (re)introduction of the phone. Really nice V. ML~ ~E
I did a little work on S2 and 4. If you come back to this, let me know how it does now. Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it when I get that kind of help. And, as I said before, the allergy thing is needed, otherwise I'd rather be indoors.
S2 is still a little over-modified/telly - and that "for access" sounds like it came out of a manual of some sort - but the overall picture is very good. I like the mood, all nice and wisy-dreamy.
thanks, I'll do some more work on it.
I've posted another revision, changes made to both s2 and s4 again. I don't know that it is any better, but I tried. I'll take another look tomorrow. Thanks again...
Remember, you asked for it ;)
Actually I like this, and you know it - but here are a few lil nitty tid bits.
I stare out my window,
transport myself elsewhere.
My mind transcends miles
while my body remains still
and occupied with work.
**How can your body be still, and working?
Scentless blossoms
fill the forest
as long grasses dance
in tranquil breezes.**A tranquil breeze?
My allergies are at rest.
Music is piped through
branches full of nature’s
harmony. Melodies form
when bees buzz in time
to the creek’s ripple.
**This is SO my favorite part.
As I wander, aimless,
the wind and sun play
peek-a-boo in my hair
as they take turns
kissing my neck.
**I'd put "play" down on the same line with peek-a-boo
The world ceases
to exist. There is only
green, blue and me.
Time passes slowly,
almost unnoticeably.
**invert green and blue, it reads more smoothly that way.
Idyllic peace settles
upon me until
the insistent jangle
of the phone
brings me back.
okay, I think I've got it now. I also changed some of the line breaks in the final strophe.
YAY! I love it this way. Excellent rewrite.
I couldn't have done it without you.
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